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i. He was to move to New York
to become a model
we learn too much
about Black people in death

my only memory of him
walking from first street of childhood
straight to pasture at the end of Vera Street
green at long black hairs on brown bodies

six year old with orange tipped
six shooter and badge
I knew so much
for example: sheriffs had horses
on pasture I would find mine

I knew this man too
“Say, Uncle, look how we walk the same.”

Uncle Dwight was the only man I would love
without ever having heard of cocktails
of addiction
of pneumonia
of AIDS related complications
of Black people in death

if you go today
and I hope you go
to the end
of Vera Street
you will find a reservoir
where there were horses


ii. At 21 years old living in Darling Harbour when you set me on fire across an ocean because the sun hadn't burned bright enough for you: Maybe I've cried since then. I can't recall. In Los Angeles, people, like forgiveness & forgetting, are clichéd.

iii. When getting and giving head in public, must one wear a sign? "Do not touch the animals"

iv. In grade three for reasons deserved
I stabbed racist white girl
in hand
in psalm
number two got under skin

no bloody rivers for her to swim in
only Floridian crocodiles

after apologies
Ms. Guest sent me lunching
moneyed from her treasure chest

a Black woman knows
hunger when she sees him


v. There are said to be an infinite number of alternate universes. Could this be the one where I am unlovable?

vi. What is the sum total of Black trans women killed this year to date? How do you know yours is the correct number?

vii. Sometimes the hair on my head
lending me its wisdom
before I break its body speaks
before I am distracted again I hear

it say
there are mothers
who were once brothers
whose names you will never write

it say
you breathe the exhales
of your ancestors
if you do not wish to choke on exhaust
take deeper breaths

it say
there is as much before us
as there is behind

it say
this world is not yours
do not fear yourself or mine

it say—

viii. (We deserve our queerness. We deserve our dark skin. We deserve to fail gender in every way imaginable. Who else should deserve as much?)

ix. Again, on our sisters: How do you know yours is the correct sum total?

x. Black love is a disruptive or radical act that is affirming or freeing for any black person(s) with respect to colors, shades, religions, spiritualities, ethnicities, genders, sexualities, abilities, expressions or bodily autonomy and is not in service of individual, systemic or structural anti-blackness.